return my video game
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
