I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
