she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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