do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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