woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
