We're like a lot better than the average bears
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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