Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
