girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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