You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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