how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Randomize
