so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize