how can u be prego again
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
