you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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