That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
