Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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