He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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