so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
