giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
