found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
