what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
