we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize