I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
