As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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