My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
