dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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