Whod you bang
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
