I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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