just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
