Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
