Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
