bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
