I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
