Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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