I must be too annoying 4 u.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
