so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
