In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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