My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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