I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I'm at about main and main street
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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