He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Randomize
