Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize