he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
