Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
worst night to have a conscience
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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