I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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