Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
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