Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Randomize
