Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Found your dick twin last night
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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