Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize