make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
