please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize