Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
