erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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