Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
