I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
