i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
