..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
