but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
