She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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