If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Lo siento on account of my penis...
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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