I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
