'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
