You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize