would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
