I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
