We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
