I'm jealous of your bromance
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
