woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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