I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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