They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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